act six: "the votes are in"
by mono
in a galaxy, far, far away:
<matt williams> estoy aburrido.
<michael yount> sabe que tu esta hablando.
<matt williams> oye.
meanwhile, on the winnebagel:
<barney> it's hot in here. lets stop and get some air.
<mono> NO! (keeps driving)
<barney> please? i'm thirsty.
<mono> g'ah. you need water, you need air. do you want me to change your oil too? (keeps driving)
*barney's toungue dries out and crumbles to the floor.
<waka> bwah. that was pretty keen.
<mono> it's "g'ah."
<myth> actually, its "b'ah."
<mono> are you talking back to me?
<barney> mmm...mmm...mmm....
<inmate> (twitches)
<mono> come to think of it, i am a bit tired. lets stop at this obviously run down hotel on that hill over there.
<waka> nah, there's police tape all over it.
<mono> it's "n'ah."
<myth> actually, it is "nah."
<mono> are you talking back to me?
<inmate> (twitches)
<waka> anyway, lets go to another hotel.
<myth> how about "the palace of love?"
<everyone> ok.
<inmate> (twitches)
*the winnebagel stops outside the "palace of love."
*the group walks inside the hotel, into the lobby.
*a tall doorman dressed like elvis stands at the door.
<barney> mmm....mmm....mmm...
<myth> ...bop?
<everyone> ::shudder::
*zed enters
<zed> HANSON MUST DIE!!!!!!!!#@$%@#$%
*zed leaves
<doorman> good evening. i'm e_megas. can i take your bags?
<waka> NO! (waka pokes the doorman in the eye)
<doorman> ow! my eye!
*inmate pokes the doorman in the eye. he twitches.
*soon, everyone is poking the doorman in the eye. when they tire of the doorman, they start poking each other in the eye.
moments later:
*the group walks up to the front desk. veloso is seated by a computer.
*mono stares at veloso.
*veloso stares at mono
<mono> *ahem*
<veloso> what?
<mono> we want a room.
<veloso> so?
<mono> so give us a room.
<veloso> what do you say?
<mono> are you talking back to me?
<veloso> yes.
<mono> oh.
<veloso> now, what do you want?
<mono> a room.
<veloso> so?
<mono> g'ah.
<barney> mmm...mmm!
<waka> this is the worst service i've ever recieved. let me talk to your manager.
<veloso> fine.
*veloso takes off his bellhop hat, and puts on an overcoat.
<veloso> how can i help you?
<waka> you're the manager too?
<veloso> yes, yes i am.
<waka> cruderoo.
<mono> (to veloso) GIVE US A ROOM!
<veloso> i have no vacancies.
<mono> i don't care about your personal life.
<veloso> i don't either.
*mono marches away, determined to find a room *somewhere* in the hotel. the others follow. they stop near the elevator.
*inmate doesn't. he walks into the wall.
*they wait.
*and wait.
*and wait.
<barney> this sucks.
<mono> butt.
<barney> ew!
<mono> (nmiaow)
<myth> how could that be taken non-obscenely?
<mono> . . .
*finally, the elavator doors open.
*they walk in, and myth presses button #42.
*the elavator rises.
*and rises.
*and rises.
<mono> cool. were getting high.
*and rises.
*finally, the elavator stops. the doors open.
casey mccann has been waiting for them. he holds an eggbeater in that "rico y suave" kind-of-way.
<casey> i'm tired of waiting. someone's gonna die!
*casey lunges toward the group with the eggbeater.
*everyone moves left.
*casey continues lunging, straight ino the elavator doors, and straight down the shaft.
<barney> he's dead!
<mono> bwah.
<mono> it's "b'ah"
<mono> d'oh!
*they walk down the long pink hallways of the hotel searching for a room. conveniently, the first room they come to is empty.
<myth> how convenient.
*they walk in.
*everyone stands in awe, gazing at the oversized fuscia couch and the plaid-salmon wallpaper.
<everyone> cool! a heartshaped bathtub!
*myth walks over to the television. he presses the "power" button.
*nothing happens.
<myth> hey guys...the t.v. is broken.
<mono> this sucks.
<waka> let's leave.
*they walk out.
*as they leave the hotel, Tseng falls from the sky and lands on barney, killing them both.
<mono> b'eh. barney died.
<myth> it's "bweh."
<mono> are you talking back to me?
<myth> . . .
<inmate> (twitches) who's gonna take bareny's place?
<waka> the world may never know....
***end***
<waka> walk like a waka...