ACT 12.27 By MenTaLguY After rescuing mono in the messy aftermath of the incident hereafter known as "The Tabasco Debacle", the MZX Rules crew were forced to flee into the desert. It was a long, hard flight, dodging McIlhenny goons, traveling nights, and sleeping days in the shelter of abandoned gas stations, massive rock formations, and the occasional luxury hotel. It's a subject for another episode, though. Suffice to say, they'd finally escaped with their lives, and pretty much otherwise intact to boot. Inmate's arm started bothering him off and on, but the surgery was experimental, after all. You need to be prepared for that sort of thing if you're going to be beta testing. Still, they were free. Now the search for Greg Janson, and, ultimately, the very future of MegaZeux, could resume. * the Winnebagel, with mono at the wheel, rolls east along a desert road, raising a faint cloud of dust. As the sun sets behind them, it reflects off of something on the side of the road ahead, attracting his attention. The Winnebagel slows down, and stops with a jerk. <waka> whoa ... <inmate> wheeeeee... *oof* * inmate lands between the front seats <waka> uh, why did we just stop? <mono> dunno. It looks like there's a sign or something out there. * inmate sits up <inmate> looks important ... let's ignore it. <mono> I can't read it from here. I wanna get out and look . <myth> It's out far enough that I don't think it has anything to do with the road. * myth glances up at the roof of the cabin <myth> I know I'm paranoid, but I think a giant bagel on wheels would show up pretty well from a satellite. We should keep moving. <mono> I think those McIlhenny bastards gave up by now. Besides, multi's needed to go for the past few hours. We've got to stop sometime... * multi nods urgently and whimpers <inmate> we don't HAVE to ... * multi whimpers again, this time, the whimper sounding not unlike a snarl * inmate recoils in fear <inmate> okay. maybe we do. <inmate's arm> spineless piss-ant. <inmate> stop bothering me. * mono shuts off the engine and gets out * multi bolts out the opposite door and runs out into the desert * the rest of the Winnebagel's occupants get out and follow mono at a distance * mono stops at the sign <mono> uhh... "Microsoft(R) Demilitarized Zone(tm) -- 5 Miles" <mono> "All Unauthorized Entry Prohibited" * inmate catches up <inmate> whoa ... man. * waka and myth catch up <waka> This can't be good. <mono> Maybe we should turn around... <myth> That's not a good idea. Maybe we're safe from McIlhenny out here, but if we turn back... <inmate> I don't see anyone around or anything ... <mono> Let's keep going. It's getting dark. I don't see anyone around either. * they all walk back and pile into the Winnebagel again, just as multi wanders back <multi> were you going to leave without me? <inmate> no. <inmate's arm> yes. <inmate> shut up! * they all leave together * five miles down the road, they come to a stop at a barbed-wire rent-a-fence stretched north-and-south across the road, and for as far as they can see in either direction. It starts to rain lightly. A red-and-white placard on the fence declares "Microsoft(R) Demilitarized Zone(tm) -- Keep Out" <inmate> oh, spork! <inmate's arm> ... rhymes with DORK! you loser. * inmate curses under his breath * waka looks wearily at inmate * mono looks uncertain for a second, and then puts the Winnebagel out of gear and steps out slowly, followed by waka, inmate, and myth. mono walks around front into the headlights of the Winnebagel. <mono> I don't even think these fence sections are bolted together. * mono walks up to the fence and grabs a hold of one side of the segment streched across the road <mono> inmate, give me a hand <inmate's arm> no. * inmate looks intently at his arm, while fingering a knife in his other <inmate> ohhh... I can do better than just that... * myth abruptly takes the knife from inmate <inmate's arm> woohoo! <myth> here, I'll help * mono and myth lift the fence segment out of the holes in the cinder blocks supporting it, and carry it over to the side of the road, where they drop it. * waka yawns <waka> heh. oh, yeah. great security. * mono looks around carefully <mono> I don't think anybody's around. Let's go! * they all pile back into the van again * suddenly, as mono cautiously drives past the fence, the Winnebagel electrical systems flicker and cut out. * The lights die. * The engine stops. * The ground begins to shake. * Suddenly, spotlights shine out from somewhere to the left, and reveal a bank of clouds, from which a huge monitor wall displaying the Windows logo emerges, amid strains of "Carmina Burana" broadcast over a loudspeaker. <mono> shit. * waka wakes up with a start <voice over loudspeakers> You ... You ... have entered ... entered ... a restricted area ... area ... by order of the great and all-knowing Emperor Gates ... Gates ... you must turn around, or be re-assimilated! ... assimilated! <inmate> excuse me while ice cream. * just then, the display on the monitor wall changes to a solid blue background with cryptic white lettering. The music stops. Slowly, the whole monitor wall begins to list to one side and begins to drop, as cables snap and send sparks flying. At that moment, Tseng walks into the area of light cast by one of the spotlights, falling raindrops shining around him. * tseng looks up at the massive monitor wall bearing down on him <tseng> uh-oh. * the corner of the monitor wall lands with a crash next to the spot where tseng is standing, and embeds itself in the ground. * tseng looks around for a moment <tseng> Bwahahahaaa*&^%#^%@%$@ I have cheated death! I have returned!!! I am triumphant!!!!!! * the monitor wall starts to list to one side, as the corner loosens in the ground under the weight of the huge mass above it. In what seems like slow motion, it falls with a violent crash on top of tseng, killing them both. <myth> how fitting. * a mass of what look uncannily like borg appear on the edge of the illuminated area, and advance slowly towards the Winnebagel. * inmate grabs a rock and throws it at the spotlight. Confusion, robotic noises and screams fill the darkness. Multi lets out a dull roar as he transforms into an inhumanly large and hairy creature, scattering borg right and left. Suddenly, everything stops. Out of the darkness, a sound not unlike a thousand musical beeping watches playing "Yankee Doodle" fills the air. <inmate> Let's get out of here!!! * mono, myth, waka, multi and inmate find themselves wandering over a scorched plain, as the sun slowly rises ahead of them. <mono> That was a stupid risk, inmate. It's a good thing they apparently hadn't implemented night vision yet in Microsoft Borg(tm) 4.0... <inmate's arm> it was him. he did it. <inmate> SHUT UP!#@$ I knew what I was doing. This guy I knew told me about it. He also told me about this really neato easter egg the Microsoft programmers put in. If you hold down control and double click a nose, they all start playing "Yankee Doodle". <inmate's arm> it was all my idea, really. * inmate mutters * myth smiles <myth> heh. They really should have put the time that must have gone into that easter egg into something useful like night vision. Not that I'm complaining. * multi sniffles <multi> I want my mummy ... <mono> Well, you should have thought about that BEFORE, shouldn't you? * a shadow flits across the plain and dissapears again * waka suddenly throws himself into a shallow pit on the ground and pulls mono in with him. he looks carefully up over the edge <waka> hsst... I think I saw someone over to the right * everyone else clambers down into the pit too <waka> No, wait... never mind. It's hard to tell. <mono> let's rest here a moment, anyway. We need to figure out what to do now that we've lost the Winnebagel. * inmate pulls a battered laptop from his coat <inmate> i need my MegaZeux fix. * inmate fires it up, and suddenly cries out <inmate> what the ... "inmate@rubberroom ~%" ... <inmate> "inmate@rubberroom ~% megazeux zsh: command not found: megazeux" * inmate screams * as everyone turns to look at inmate, they hear a machine gun block fall into place <waka> uh-oh... * A lone figure with an automatic rifle stands at the edge of the pit where the wandering MegaZeuxers are huddled. His clothes are dusty and tattered, a pair of jeans, a streaked tee-shirt, an overcoat, and boots. He squints in the early morning light, and motions for them to stand up. He wears a pair of welding goggles, put up over his forehead, and his hair is disheveled and dusty. <stranger> who are you? <mono> uh, I'm mono. <waka> waka. <inmate> insane. i'm insane. and you? * inmate grins * multi says nothing <myth> We're just a wandering band of MegaZeuxers! * the stranger drops the weapon slightly and looks uncertain for a moment, then motions with the rifle again for them to get up. <stranger> really, now ... come with me. * they get up slowly and walk ahead of the stranger <inmate> what's with my laptop? why can't I play MegaZeux? <stranger> you've left the area of Microsoft domination. MegaZeux will only work there. you're in Linux territory now. * They walk slowly across the plain. Soon a valley opens in front of them, revealing a massive complex of low black buildings surrounded by dusty black tents. People with strange haircuts and similar outfits to the mysterious stranger mill about, carrying cds, laptops, computer equipment, and other assorted odds and ends. Near the edge of the camp, a man sits on a crate with a battered guitar and sings "~/Join us now and share the software.../~" * the stranger stops by one of the tents <stranger> hey, MenTaL! * the MegaZeuxers look at one another <stranger> MenTaL! wake up! * the stranger grumbles, and kicks the side of the tent violently, producing a delayed "ow!" from within * a rather disheveled-looking individual with a goatee crawls out, in black dress pants, a dusty white linen shirt, and old black sneakers. <MenTaLguY> cheezit, maj. You don't have to kick me... <inmate> MenTaLguY? majiCk? <waka> MenTaLguY? I thought you were dead! Or abducted by aliens! or Something. <mono> majiCk? You're the mysterious administrator behind #megazeux! <majiCk> yes, that's right, on both counts. <multi> MenTaL! <MenTaLguY> multi? What are you doing here? <mono> You two know each other? <MenTaLguY> yeah, he's one of our undercover operatives! * mono blinks, visibly stunned <MenTaLguY> Well, it's great to see you folks again! maj was out looking for you ever since last night, when we found out someone had broken through the border. When we found the Winnebagel, we knew it was you... <mono> You have the Winnebagel!?! <MenTaLguY> Yeah. None the worse for the wear, either. <MenTaLguY> By the way, where's yenrab? Wasn't she with you? <myth> Barney The Girl? she's ... dead. * MenTaLguY starts <MenTaLguY and majiCk in unison> what?! how? <inmate> an unfortunate cuisinart accident. not really. she broke tseng's fall, killing them both. heh. * everyone glares at inmate * majiCk sniffles and turns away, looking at the ground <MenTaLguY> ... we've ... been making preparations to get her across the border from the Microsoft-controlled area, too ... we were almost ready ... * MenTaLguY breaks down and sobs * Later that day ... <MenTaLguY> Inmate -- you had asked about being able to play MegaZeux here? We're working on that. Actually, I'd like you all to see something; walk this way. * inmate pauses <inmate> i think i'd hurt myself walking like THAT... * MenTaLguY leads them towards one of the larger black buildings, with banners of a seated penguin hanging on the facade. A large flag with a similar logo flies out front. They approach one of the doors at the side. MenTaLguY produces a keycard, and lets them in. <MenTaLguY> By the way, if you plan on staying, we'll have to issue you accounts. Not a big deal, but we do value security here. Unlike a certain large collective I could name. * MenTaLguY turns down a long corridor and stops at one of the doors along the right side. Just as he's opening the door, multi looks anxious and mumbles something to him. <MenTaLguY> Oh, sure ... if you need to go, /dev/null is down the hall to your left. And remember to wash up in /dev/zero this time, eh? <MenTaLguY> Anyway... voila! * MenTaLguY opens the door to reveal a room nearly full floor-to-ceiling with reams of papers. Inside, a lone programmer types madly at an old vt100. <inmate> mmm... madly... <MenTaLguY> Captain! attention! * CapnKev snaps to attention <inmate> poor "to attention"... * CapnKev blinks, causing no discernable effect <CapnKev> sorry, sir. still not done transcribing the game2 routines yet. * MenTaLguY grumbles <MenTaLguY> Anyway... * MenTaLguY makes a sweeping gesture around the room <MenTaLguY> All this is the MegaZeux source code. CapnKev and I are working on porting MegaZeux to Linux, and we're nearing completion of something more or less usable. It'll be a while yet before it's polished, but soon, soon, MegaZeux will no longer be the exclusive domain of Microsoft operating systems!!! * MenTaLguY stops just short of laughing maniacally <mono> You ... got the source from Janson? You found Greg?!? * MenTaLguY winces <MenTaLguY> No ... we had to cut a deal with that Microsoft lackey, MattW. Janson's old second-in-command. But you knew that much. Unfortunately, at some point we have to do a Win32 port too, as part of the deal. Maybe the DJGPP port will suffice for that. <MenTaLguY> Bleagh. <MenTaLguY> I guess strictly speaking, there are a few other scattered places outside of Gates' dominion that you can run MegaZeux -- I make a trip to OpenDOS occasionally when I feel the need, but it's a long trip, and I have to be away from my work here then. A Linux port of MegaZeux is vitally important. <MenTaLguY> So, will you guys stay and help us? We're woefully under-manned. * CapnKev glares at MenTaLguY * MenTaLguY blinks, causing nothing noticeable to happen <MenTaLguY> Uh, I really did _not_ mean it that way ... you should know that, Kev. <mono> uh, anyway, thanks, but no. I mean, Linux MZX is important and all, but our mission -- the one we've dedicated ourselves and our trusty Winnebagel to -- is to find Greg Janson. Unless he's here someplace. <waka> yeah. <myth> By the way, couldn't you have gotten the source code in electronic form? I expect all this printed stuff is taking you some time to get it all typed in ... <MenTaLguY> Oh, yeah ... whoops. * a long silence ensues * CapnKev blinks as one of the stacks of papers falls over. The fluttering sheets spread themselves around the room. * MenTaLguY continues standing silently and gradually turns bright red as everyone continues stareing incredulously at him * MenTaLguY breathes deeply for a moment <MenTaLguY> Uh, well ... I'll walk you guys out to the Winnebagel. <MenTaLguY> Kev, keep up the good work. I'll be back later to work out the details of the text-to-robotic compiler. * Multi rejoins them, and they walk out to the Winnebagel. MenTaLguY stops mono just as he's getting in. * MenTaLguY hands mono two floppy disks, one labeled "Slackware Boot" and the other labeled "Slackware Root" <MenTaLguY> Here, if you ever need to come back here, you can just use these -- you're always welcome. Again, good luck on your quest. * MenTaLguY waves sadly as they rattle off into the sunset across the blackened no-man's land, coming just a little closer to La Crescenta with every passing mile. <inmate's arm> DORK. <inmate> shut up. |